You may have heard that there is someone perfect for everyone, so why does it seem like you cannot find anyone for you no matter what you do? You may even think there is something wrong with you. But it is more likely that you are just looking in the wrong spots, for the wrong traits, or even just looking too hard. Here are the top seven reasons you might be having a hard time finding that significant other:
1. You Are Choosing The Wrong Traits
A person with self-respect will also have respect for others in most cases, and those without any self-respect tend to forget that others deserve respect. That old saying, "you cannot love anyone else if you do not love yourself," really makes sense here. Those with no self-respect may be depressed or not have a good image of themselves, and while that is not a reason to dislike someone, it is probably not the best time to try and start a relationship with that person. Some signs of those with no self-respect include:Does not take care of herselfHas no confidence in her abilitiesSeems like everything she does and says is forced or fakeCannot find humor in herself without being overly self-insulting
If this person really cares about herself, talk to her about getting help and maybe even offer to seek counseling with them. But do not try to get into a serious relationship until you are both in the right frame of mind.
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Avoid Negative Traits
Of course, nobody is perfect, and everyone has negative traits, including you. However, if this individual"s negative traits are those that are bad enough to make you cringe, you may want to think again about getting serious with them. For instance, if they constantly ask you to buy them things, expensive things, and seem upset if you cannot or don"t, they may be one of those materialistic girls who use others for what they want. And if they are abusive to you in any way, run the other way. You don"t need that. Here are some signs of negative traits:Being afraid of commitment if you are interested in that traitToo materialistic - such as wanting gifts, expensive dinners, and all kinds of "things" even if they know you cannot afford themAlways talking down to you or laughing at youTreat you badly, such as calling you names or trying to control youDoes not respect your feelings
Independent And Self-Assured
You do not want someone who agrees with everything you say and does not seem to have any interests of her own. While it is nice to have things in common, you each must have your own interests. It is even better if you two can share your interests and teach each other some things you may not even know you enjoy.
2. You Are Not Attracted To Them
If you do not feel connected to this person, it is probably best not to force it. While many relationships flourish after struggling to begin, it is not a good idea to force yourself to have feelings that you do not have. For example, if you enjoy hanging out with a person but do not feel an emotional connection, you are better off as friends or acquaintances. You want to choose a girlfriend who gives you that feeling of wanting to take care of them or someone who makes you smile when you think of them.
Of course,physical attraction is important as well. Although you should not choose your girlfriend just for her looks, if you do not feel attracted to her, your relationship will not last. People who get together for convenience or just because they want to be in a relationship often make this mistake and regret it later after realizing that they are not physically attracted. That is painful for everyone, including the other person who probably already has strong feelings for you by figuring out your mistake.
3. They Don"t Make You Laugh
Laughter is good for you. Try to find someone with a similar sense of humor as you. Laughter is important in any relationship, and if you and your partner do not "get" each other"s jokes, there could be some strange sticky situations where they are laughing, and you are not, and vice versa. Of course, you don"t have to laugh at the same things, but it helps if you two are at least on the same wavelength.
4. You Both Want Different Things
It is important to make sure that you find a girl who wants the same things you do in life. They do not have to agree with everything you say and do, of course, but it would be wise to make sure you both have similar interests when it comes to life. It would not be wise to invest your time and feelings in a relationship if you are not interested in the same goals. For example, if you want a serious relationship and are just looking for a fling, it will not work out. And if they are planning on moving a thousand miles away in a few weeks or months, starting a relationship with them is doomed unless you plan on moving with them.Exclusivity - if you are looking for commitment, does this person want the same thing?Future goals - does either one of you have plans that may interfere with the relationship, such as moving out of state or leaving town for a long time?Other commitments that may affect your datings like having opposite religious beliefs or parenting values.
5. Trying Too Hard
Maybe you are trying too hard. Have you been searching for a girl everywhere you go? From the grocery store to the post office and even at work, you may just be trying way too hard. In fact, many healthy and successful relationships are surprise relationships. In other words, you meet someone by chance, which gives you that weird feeling in your stomach and makes you smile just thinking about them. Are you out there hitting the clubs and talking to as many people as you can? Have you been searching for that perfect person wherever you happen to be? Maybe you need to take a break. Once you stop looking, they may find you when you least expect it.
6, Looking In The Wrong Places
Are you trolling the dating sites like Tinder, Bumble, or Zoosk? If you are looking for a relationship, you will probably not find it on a site that advertises that they are great for one-night stands and fast hookups. If you like the online dating scene but want a more serious relationship, it is better to look for one that encourages relationships based on your likes and dislikes and interests, and relationship goals. For example, eHarmony helps you find someone looking for the same or similar things you are. It has been around for quite a while and uses a special algorithm to find people that they think are right for you. Match.com is the oldest online dating service and serves 25 different countries. They have been around since 1995 and have an excellent reputation for successful matches.
7. Social Anxiety Disorder
Could you possibly be suffering from an anxiety disorder causing you to mess up your chances of finding a girlfriend? Do you start sweating and stammering when you see a pretty girl that you want to talk to? Maybe you get that way no matter who it is you are talking to. You could have a social anxiety disorder (SAD),which is a real mental health disorder. It makes starting a relationship with anyone difficult, let alone trying to find a love interest. If the thought of talking to someone you don"t know causes a panic attack or makes you dizzy or nauseous, you probably have SAD. Luckily, this condition is typically easy to treat. Talking to a professional can help.
Online Therapy For Anxiety Disorders
If you have SAD or any other anxiety disorder, the thought of talking to someone about your anxiety (especially a stranger) is probably frightening. In fact, just thinking about it may cause an anxiety attack. That is when online mental health care is a great idea. Communicating online through texting, instant messaging, or email can make things much less scary. Writing down your feelings rather than speaking them out loud is a lot easier for those suffering from SAD because they do not have to talk directly to the person. As a matter of fact, you can remain completely anonymous with soimg.orgor BetterHelp.com, which makes talking about your feelings even easier. You do not need an appointment and do not even have to leave your house.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Is it possible to never find a girlfriend?
Sometimes when it comes to dating, it can feel like everyone is in a relationship, yet you can"t get a girlfriend. This can cause people to feel discouraged, feel self-conscious, and question whether there is something wrong with them that girls can’t stand. If you are having difficulties finding a potential girlfriend, it"s important to remember that, while you may think the reason you don"t have a girlfriend is because of something you"ve done or is related to who you are as a person, this may not even be correct. Don’t panic because you don’t have a girlfriend right now. While it is possible never to find a girlfriend, do not lose hope. You may be making one of these common mistakes that could be hindering your effort to find a partner. Here are some common ways you could be negatively affecting your chances of finding a potential girlfriend or why things aren’t clicking with a girl, which you may not realize:You are not attracted to them physically or emotionally. While physical attraction is not necessarily the deciding factor in any relationship, it can still be an element that holds some significance, especially when you start dating someone new. You should also pay attention to whether or not you find these people emotionally attractive as well. Ask yourself whether you feel comfortable getting to know them on a deeper level or feel comfortable opening up to them about your life. With both forms of attraction in mind, try to find attractive women who you are physically and emotionally drawn to from the beginning, so you rule out getting into a relationship because it"s convenient.They don"t make you laugh.Laughter and humor are often important elements in a relationship. Being able to joke and tease one another without the other getting hurt or offended and sharing humor can mean that you understand each other and are emotionally aligned.You are spending too much time talking to a girl who is entirely wrong for you. Whether you"ve just begun dating or not, you must spend time talking to a girl who is worth your energy. Look to find a down-to-earth girlfriend, motivated to achieve her dreams, and kind to others, amongst other positive traits. Wasting time talking to girls you think you are supposed to like instead of the girls you are actually interested in could hinder your chances of a successful relationship.You have different values in life.Sometimes, even though it may be easy to meet girls and start to date them, in the end, you may find out that both of you value different aspects of life and have different goals for the future.
How can I find a girlfriend easily?
While some men find dating a pretty girl to be easy, other men can encounter difficulties dating women, resulting in feelings of low self-esteem, confusion, and negative self-talk. And often, women find dating to be challenging too. Because some men find dating challenging, it can often cause them to experience stress and anxiety when putting themselves out there. If you are struggling with dating, it"s essential to know that you are not alone. Basically, everyone encounters difficulties with dating at least once in their lifetime. If you are experiencing challenges with dating, here are some methods that might help you find a girlfriend:Decide what kind of girl you would like to date. Without excluding women for superficial reasons, you still might find that you have a type. Athletes, film buffs, American women, keep your options open until it is more helpful to narrow down your search for what the perfect girl is to you, so you are not left looking for a girl that may not even exist. Set your expectations initially and understand what values you want to see in a significant other while keeping an open mind.Understand women.Just like men, women what to be respected for who they are. This is why women may find it attractive when men are sensitive and aware of their feelings and struggles; people want to be heard when they speak.Understand what a girl wants a guy to be.Knowing what a girl looks for in a guy who will potentially be their new partner can be crucial in understanding whether or not the woman you are going after will be interested. A man who is respectful, charming, funny, and supportive could attract a new girlfriend.
Other tips to help you find a girlfriend could be:Knowing when to compliment a girlListening to a girl talk about her problems and providing her with insightful feedbackLearning how to make a girl laughKnowing when to surprise her
Where can I find a girlfriend?
In today"s dating age, men may no longer have to look far and wide for girls to date, all thanks to technology. Besides looking for girls in person, you can now find girls looking for a relationship on websites and dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Match.com, and more. However, if you prefer to meet girls in person as opposed to speaking with them online, here are a couple of places where you could potentially find a girlfriend:At your school, perhaps in one of your classes.At workAt the gymAt a restaurant or barAt a concert or music festivalOn vacationAt the park or the beachAt a local coffee shop in your area
While putting yourself out there can be hard, remember never to harass a girl who is enjoying a public place on her own, and be sure to respect the word “no.”
It’s not always as easy as just step 1, want girlfriend; step 2, find a girlfriend. Be patient with the process and trust that time will only help you find your perfect person.
Can you have a girlfriend without dating?
While traditionally, men and women would be required to meet in person and date before getting into a relationship, with advancements in technology, it is possible to have a girlfriend without dating. Some people have a preference for chatting strictly online without dating physically in their actual everyday life. It is common for people to meet on dating apps, dating websites, and online chat forums.
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These types of online dating relationships can symbolize emotional connections between two people rather than physical ones. While this can help some people overcome their sense of shyness or defeat while trying to date women in person, it"s always important to note that while speaking to people online can be fun and provide you with a sense of comfort, be safe and never send money or reveal personal information with someone who could be impersonating their online persona. Keep your private information confidential if you are speaking with someone new online. Many instances and stories of people worldwide get "catfished" by other people pretending to be someone else. They will use someone else"s photos, a fake name, and even pretend to be another gender to conceal their true identity for others.
Do girls like shy guys?
While some men find it easy to be outspoken and confident, other men have more quiet, shy personalities, leading them to believe that women will not be attracted to them. However, this is not always the case. As a group, girls date all kinds of people, and their preferences can’t be summed up because they are all different. While a women"s preference will vary depending on who you ask, generally speaking, shy guys also have positive values that women tend to appreciate. Here are some reasons why being shyas a male can help you when dating women:Shy men may be more generous listeners. Once your significant other breaks down your initial communication barrier, you find it easy to be yourselfShy men could be deep thinkers who offer an abundance of thought and knowledge to conversationsShy men can seem less intimidatingShy men are often very polite to others
Why do I have no friends?
In some scenarios, people may find it challenging to connect with people at school or their job, leading them to experience loneliness and isolation. It is also common for people to experience falling outs with close friends who used to be there for each other. Look around in uncommon places, and you might find that you have more friends waiting in the wings or among family than you think. If you truly feel that you have no friends and are experiencing depression or a mental illness, consider seeing a therapist. If you are experiencing feelings of having no friends, here are some common reasons why your interpersonal relationships may be hindered:People may believe that you are self-centered and disingenuousPeople may portray you as being someone who complains all the timeYou are hanging out with the wrong people who don"t value your opinion when you could be celebrated and welcomed by another groupYou are unable to admit when you are wrongYou are naturally introverted and prefer to spend most of your time aloneYou refuse to make an effort for your friends