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It's safe to say I have an obsession with creating. I can't stop and I don't think I ever will because of the joy and healing it brings to my life. it's this impulse I get, it gets me out of bed before 6am. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not much of a morning person but as an artist im Like a kid on Christmas morning. Like a little kid in their undies running to the tree to see their gifts. In my case it's a woman running into her studio in her undies and the gifts I see are all that I have created. I have struggled to thoroughly open up and share my experiences and the creations I've made but I am so thankful to have found the playful me again. I have struggled with ptsd, depression and anxiety throughout different times in my life due to the aftermath of sexual trauma, suicide, physical and emotional trauma and abuse and art saved me. I saved me. I found the me that had been lost for so long. She was lost because she thought she had to make everyone else happy. She was lost because everyone had told her that how you feel doesnt matter and she listened because she was a child and didn't know any better and that she was to listen to those who came before her. She was traumatized and hurt and scared of the world. She listened when people told her she couldn't manifest a good life the way she wanted to. That little girl didn't know any better. That little girl wasnt taught anything about how to love herself. That little girl doesn't know what I know now. I take that little girl by the hand and I show her the amazingness of life in front of her I tell her how grateful I am that she woke up. I soothe her fears of the world, I remind her of her power and her will, I show her the love she needed. I remind her that she healed herself when nothing else could. I remind her that She conquered the darkness and she isn't ashamed of it but proud of herself for the strength it took. That little girl is the child in me that just wanted love. You are not broken because you have endured darkness. You do not need to feel ashamed for the depths you have conquered. I don't go searching for love anymore, I create it 🎨🌱
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:) miss my old studio in 2012:)
#懐かしい #tbt #brainstorm #studiohime #drank #dessange #designer #moekoosawa #スタジオハイミ #creator #ootd #ハッピー #酔っ払い #幸せモード #ご機嫌
The MIDLAND theatre. Downtown Newark.