Ovariety is the New Black seachild 2 returns to Netflix this weekend, and here's our testimonial of the first episode.

You are watching: Orange is the new black thirsty bird

By Gerri Mahn | June 7, 2014 | | Comments count:0

Oselection is the New Black seaboy 2 is here and I am so all set. I have a stack of microwavable popcorn, Hot Pockets, a number of liters of orange Fanta, and also Netflix on my smart phone so I deserve to continue binge watching throughout pee breaks. Ah, the high-end of pee breaks. You never before really appreciate your flexibility to pee at will until you watch Piper as she begs for the privilege.

And beg she does. Seakid 2 starts through Piper being dragged out of the SHU in the middle of the night, bundled onto a bus, then a plane, and flvery own to Chicback without anyone telling her wright here she is going, why, or for exactly how long. She doesn’t also understand if Pennsatucky made it through her beat dvery own (she did), and also has invested the last month in solitary wracked with guilt and also encouraged that she had actually beat the meth head to death. All of which she unloads on the inmate sitting next to her on the aircraft, that inmate being played by a very weathered looking Lori Petty (still awesome, despite the hot mess that was Tank Girl).

The deliver to Chicback does not improve Piper’s situation. She is stuck in a room with four various other inmates, two of whom automatically disfavor her for accidently stepping on their pet cockroach, Yoda. Yoda was a talented bit guy; he slow walked cigarettes ago and also forth to the various other cells. This viewer is dubious. I occupational in Philadelphia and also my office structure (prefer a lot of of the city) is infested through gigantic, red, cockroaches. Those fuckers are upwards of 3 inches lengthy, they fly, and they certain as shit don’t sluggish walk all over. On a related note, you have not lived till you see a Madagascar hissing cockroach on the street – and also it hisses at you. I around shit my pants that day.

Anywho…If you were burning up via concerns about the various other inmates at Litcharea, well then you will certainly save burning till the next episode and also trust me when I say, you will certainly be in a fiery rage at the finish of this one.

The only familiar face Piper sees is Alex, who defines to her that they are in Chicearlier for the trial of the mastermind behind their drug money smuggling operation; Kubra. Alex better defines to Piper the danger inherent in spilling the beans on a drug kingpin. The idea that Kubra can put a hit on her does not seem to faze Piper as much as it should; then aobtain she offered her four-day-old undies to another prisoner (who she was later relieved to learn was a hit male, not a rapist).

Tell the truth or lie? That is the question. Alex tells Piper to lie; priboy being much better than death. Is this really a dispute or does the fact that I personally would lie my ass off just a sad commentary on my moral fiber? Hey, I experienced that HBO documentary around contract killer Rictough “The Iceman” Kuklinski. No give thanks to you.

In the end, Piper lies in the time of the trial. Not to save herself, but for Alex. After which her lawyer (Larry’s dad) quits. Which is a shame since in the final scene, Alex, wearing civilian clothing, is being walked out of the prikid as she shouts apologies to Piper. She told the fact and got her flexibility.

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What Piper gets for perjury continues to be to be seen. It’s Season 2 and she isn’t just flying blind; she is plummeting.

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