On June 25, Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman will celebrate 11 years of marriage. That’s no small feat, especially in Hollywood, and I don’t mean to diminish the significance of staying married (and by all appearances, happily married) for over a decade.
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That said, I think we’d be remiss if we didn’t celebrate another milestone — one that goes back a hell of a lot further than 11 years. Guys, Keith Urban has had the exact same flat-ironed, highlighted, soccer-mom haircut for at least 30 years.
He has committed to this hair, and while it’s not unusual for a man to just stick to one hairstyle for his whole life, it’s rarely this hairstyle. You see, Keith Urban hasn’t committed to a shaved head or a basic brush cut. He’s committed to a sultry, provocative, some might say slightly feminine hairstyle, and he’s done so for decades. Decades!
And while I’ll readily admit to feeling bewildered by the style itself, I love that he’s embraced it so wholeheartedly. I love the fact that Keith Urban has decided that this is him. His best self. I’ll be honest with you; I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the confidence that Keith Urban feels while strutting around with sassy suburban mom hair. That’s something worth celebrating. How? Why by cataloging the evolution of the hair, of course.
Behold, exhibit A:
Yes, friends. That’s a fresh young 16-year-old Keith Urban crooning away on an Australian TV show.
Keith Urban in 2005 still singing, still rocking his signature hairstyle. He’s lost the bangs and gone for some highlights, but otherwise, the look remains unchanged.
Oh, what’s this? Exhibit C:
Here we see Urban with his daughter Sunday Rose. And you know, they say that fatherhood changes a man but one thing it doesn’t change is a man’s haircut. Well, not this man at least. Here, Urban lacks the flair of highlights or round-brush styling, but damn, when you’re a parent of a young child, who has the time, am I right?
On to exhibit G:
Here, Urban poses with Tiger Woods and John Mayer. (Weird, right? It was some casino event or something, apparently.)
Look how demurely Keith Urban is smiling. He’s trying to play it cool because he doesn’t want us to know that he knows that he has the best hair in this picture. But he knows. Oh, he knows.
Tiger Woods is grinning like a fool, but that’s only because he has no idea how hard he’s being schooled in the hair department. And Mayer? Pshhh. Mayer’s heartbroken because he thought he’d steal the show with his lackluster mop stuffed under a weird beach hat, but he underestimated the combined power of the hair, the highlights and the flip. Better luck next time, John.
Are we done? Not even close. Look at exhibits I and J:
On to 2013. I’ve always appreciated that Urban is confident enough not to let the height difference between himself and Kidman bother him — she always wears heels and never has to do any weird, Katie Holmes-esque slouching beside him. But in saying that, let’s also admit that Keith will never let Nicole have nicer hair. Look at his face. So petty. So pretty. So satisfied.
But wait. What’s this?
Here we see a humbled Keith Urban. A Keith Urban brought to his knees by the hair mistake of 2014. A Keith Urban determined to add as much hair to his head as humanly possible. Hence the mustache.
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And finally, that brings us to present-day, exhibits L and M:
“Nicole?” Keith whispers.“Yes, Keith?” “I have three earrings now. Also, my hair is still better than yours” “I know, darling. Sshh. I know.”